Lovely duplicity there, and intriguing message. I favor words left behind like broken stems & branches to find my way back–even though we’d like believe we push ever forward–yet as the pile of poetics grows to hip-high–there sees to be a limit to new shifts, nothing is truly linear I guess.
I had to take this out of my reader… go to your blog to see what was happening. And that’s what it is… this poem doesn’t just sit a page; it happens. It should never be viewed on the WP reader! Kind of like listening to Whole Lotta Love on a single speaker. Hardly mind-blowing. I love the format!
So glad! I haven’t read it out yet – normally I do. Thanks for taking the time with it. I find the layout a bit difficult to follow, but WP is nothing if not a challenge. LOL!
The punch line is that when I first opened it up, there was no formatting so I read it “straight”. i had no idea what everyone here was talking about, LOL! Now I can see it with the formatting, and the “two poem” idea. I liked both versions, but in different ways!
For me there was a feeling of the persona of this poem being not in control, feeling insignificant but then the act of drilling the hole, an attempt at control and a seeming success with the final word here. Hope that’s not too far off, I like that it has a status quo and then a twist and a resolution. A lot happened in that pocket!
Oooh – nice analysis! Isn’t that how change works? We resist, embrace, resist, then try to leave a trail for ourselves to get ‘back.’ We keep telling ourselves we’re in control…
An interesting idea.
It crossed my mind this week that poetry is like Hansel and Gretel’s bread crumbs. We cast our crumbs of life experiences and others come along and eat them. So we have to keep on going . No going back!
Dwight
Like others, so enjoyed this – read as one, as two and then again just for the sound – terrific stuff – works on all these levels – and I enjoyed the image of drilling a tiny hole in a pocket. V. nice.
through the tiny hole I drilled there
so as to find my way back here
You are a strategist Jilly to have thought of a Plan B as an option. One sometimes forgets to allow for a safety net thinking the first choice is the only choice. Very clever visual too. Obviously, a lot of thought had gone into this!
Love it… I can see that trail of coin crumbs… delightful and innovative
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Appreciate your sight and insight!
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This is lovely Jilly. I read it as both one and then two poems.The format made me see it that way. A clever change.
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Indeed! You are so often a great model for use of the visual.
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This is wonderful, Jill: the shape, form, the take on the prompt and the Hansel and Gretel crumbs.
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Thank, Kim! I always value your view.
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Clever format, matching with the title Jilly ~ That use of change is refreshing ~
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Thanks, Grace! A bit of play
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love this Jill
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Thanks, Maureen!
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I love how you have done this Jilly! :o)
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Thank you! I think it was an accident! HAHA!
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😁👍
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An interesting and clever format. It works really well as one poem or as two separate poems. I like the crumbs leading you back.
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Thank you!
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Almost a cleave poem.
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Oh! Those scare me! One day I’ll muster the courage…
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They are pretty hellish. And they don’t look good on the page either.
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Lovely duplicity there, and intriguing message. I favor words left behind like broken stems & branches to find my way back–even though we’d like believe we push ever forward–yet as the pile of poetics grows to hip-high–there sees to be a limit to new shifts, nothing is truly linear I guess.
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How true
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So cleverly done…to find your way back. Just like Gretel 🙂
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I had to take this out of my reader… go to your blog to see what was happening. And that’s what it is… this poem doesn’t just sit a page; it happens. It should never be viewed on the WP reader! Kind of like listening to Whole Lotta Love on a single speaker. Hardly mind-blowing. I love the format!
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Oooh – Great analogy! Thanks, Charley.
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You are welcome!
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That works great. I read it out loud and it moved so well, just falls and pulls through.
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So glad! I haven’t read it out yet – normally I do. Thanks for taking the time with it. I find the layout a bit difficult to follow, but WP is nothing if not a challenge. LOL!
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The punch line is that when I first opened it up, there was no formatting so I read it “straight”. i had no idea what everyone here was talking about, LOL! Now I can see it with the formatting, and the “two poem” idea. I liked both versions, but in different ways!
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Aha! That makes it easier.
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Clever … and cleverly presented.
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Thanks, Bev!
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For me there was a feeling of the persona of this poem being not in control, feeling insignificant but then the act of drilling the hole, an attempt at control and a seeming success with the final word here. Hope that’s not too far off, I like that it has a status quo and then a twist and a resolution. A lot happened in that pocket!
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Oooh – nice analysis! Isn’t that how change works? We resist, embrace, resist, then try to leave a trail for ourselves to get ‘back.’ We keep telling ourselves we’re in control…
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Someone has eaten my trail of breadcrumbs, Jilly!
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Yeah, mine, too. Good thing I have a restless spirit, because my changes have been doozies. Let’s just throw our hands up and shout “Wheeee!’
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An interesting idea.
It crossed my mind this week that poetry is like Hansel and Gretel’s bread crumbs. We cast our crumbs of life experiences and others come along and eat them. So we have to keep on going . No going back!
Dwight
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How true!
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Like others, so enjoyed this – read as one, as two and then again just for the sound – terrific stuff – works on all these levels – and I enjoyed the image of drilling a tiny hole in a pocket. V. nice.
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Thank you for your insightful comments. I value your input, Peter.
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I love the fluctuation of what is dropped and what is saved. All a peculiar and somewhat funny way of getting to where one needs to go.
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Or where one resists going!
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So creative!
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through the tiny hole I drilled there
so as to find my way back here
You are a strategist Jilly to have thought of a Plan B as an option. One sometimes forgets to allow for a safety net thinking the first choice is the only choice. Very clever visual too. Obviously, a lot of thought had gone into this!
Hank
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Ah yes, the logical planner shows through. Appreciate your words, Hank.
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Beautifully done.
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Thank you!
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Perfect title, form, and I love the imagery. Such a clever poem! I enjoyed it very much.
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