Posted in 28 Days of Unreason, Poetry

Hear

Don’t be afraid
the water is fine
go ahead
step into the grasses
you’ll sink
only ankle deep
at first
wade around
hear —
feel the sound
of the ants
the mole
little burrowing
frogs
this is their realm
step carefully
when you reach the edge
of your fears
the drop-off
is quick

Chest-deep
hear —
feel the sound
of the crickets
clatter loud
from their
little soap-boxes
it’s only rhetoric
legends about
the red-tailed hawk

Employ the treading
techniques you learned
as the weeds and soft
dirt beard about your chin
your ear lobes
hear —
swim in the sounds
of the tree roots
tapping at your toes
they are only curious
to learn how a man
can live only
one lifetime
and what it is to
gain entrance to
your soil

Do not stay too long
lest your skin become
grainy and your legs
begin to cramp
turn
face the shore
swim back
before you
forget how to speak
your native tongue

© Jilly’s  All Rights Reserved

for Day 17 of 28 Days of Unreason

“Prolonged exposure to nature gives one a sort of grammatica pardo, a wisdom of the soil.”   ~ Jim Harrison from A Really Big Lunch

Author’s Note:  An invitation. I like this poem; it speaks of a part of myself that is significant;  that connection with the natural world, swimming in it, learning its language.  However, it falls flat on the page for me.  It lacks something…vibrancy of language? Imagery? Structure/Formatting?  I welcome straight-forward feedback from y’all.  How could I make this better?  🙂 Jilly

Author:

A wild soul writing poetry.

22 thoughts on “Hear

  1. Getting right on down here Jilly – glad you took us there gradually so I could adapt from on to in – these words I would like printed to hang on my wall (I hear soil/soul)
    “tree roots
    tapping at your toes
    they are only curious
    to learn how a man
    can live only
    one lifetime
    and what it is to
    gain entrance to
    your soil”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good idea, Sarah. I don’t think I’ve read it aloud. Funny, but I liked it better when it was on paper but it didn’t transfer to electronic in my own eyes. Does that makes sense, even?

      Like

  2. I love “Drop off is quick” and yr dramatic conclusion ;
    “your legs begin to cramp turn face the shore swim back before you
    forget how to speak your native tongue” fine job, J.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s