And so you went down to the boats
great iron things on clouds they float,
your oars were but a journey from
unmoving Jack’s required coats
Scull and glide, you beat the drum
millennial taskers dressed for numb,
a royale spot awaits you now
so hoist the silk, the quest begun
Alas! Upon these rocks, your scow
digs up the jams you left behind;
you leap across six rocks – somehow
a mouse with ears your sacred cow!
And you, the mate, who followed fast
sans boots, beret, with verses clasp
into the Center of this World
armed with a blend, you set the mast
Into the glass the wine is swirled
and portraits of each boy and girl
pass hand to hand, and erudite
the tales and laughter are unfurled
So round this fire too cold to light
your kindled stories tell the fight
of love and loss and love regained
a rival of that great Twelfth Night
Lighthearted dawn will rise unchained
where all the lines are unconstrained
all boneyard thoughts are loudly heard
with tears and mirth are all sustained
Now shiver the timbers and the birds
spill out the wine, spill out the words
(but pie is seldom on the floor)
harassed and beaten, word for word
Too soon, too soon, there looms the door
while art demands a steep rapport
the upshot now – no going back
‘Repeat this passage!’ all implore.
© Jilly’s All Rights Reserved
A journey in the form of a Rubaiyat for dVerse’s month-long form challenge, hosted by Frank Hubeny. I have been reading Cantos by Ezra Pound, hence that opening line. A journey not meant to be understood, simply enjoyed for the sound and feel. 🙂
I am a little slow of understanding on this one. I love your lines but do not know what they are saying!
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No worries, Dwight – it is terribly enigmatic.
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It does have a nice sound. I like the shorter tetrameter lines. One line that stands out for me: “spill out the wine, spill out the words”
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Thanks! I like the momentum of tetrameter.
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Jilly, I really loved the nautical essence of this piece – like a seaman’s, or perhaps a pirates tale. It drew me right through to the end. i liked the mysterious abstractness of it as well.
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Thanks Rob. The influence of Pound.
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Amazing. Pound after Pound of flesh here. Ezra would be proud.
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High praise – thank you. I have a copy of Cantos scheduled to land on my doorstep tomorrow because reading it online is just not right, somehow.
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“Into the glass the wine is swirled / and portraits of each boy and girl / pass hand to hand, and erudite / the tales and laughter are unfurled
“So round this fire too cold to light / your kindled stories tell the fight / of love and loss and love regained / a rival of that great Twelfth Night”
Beyond the meaning is the feeling…! Damn the definitions! These words are defining of emotion, of laughter and shared tales… the adventures of the “‘splachna, which we translate as “compassion” (with suffering). And what the word referred to was the viscera – the heart, lungs, and bowels.'” All truly memorable poetry (such as this Rubyiat) should and is filled with laughter, (implied wine… or preferred spirit[s]), and splachna.
And I agree with Randall… zounds what Pounds!
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Thank you, Charley! Glad the visceral response comes through. (Love the allusion in your final comment line – do I hear Bruce’s voice?)
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Nah! I was just Moonlighting as a bard. You are welcome.
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Bah hahaha!
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Worthy of a second read – to me this poem speaks to the hardness of life, the losses and the brokenness, and in the end, the importance of telling our stories.
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You started with Pound, but I thought I spotted also some nursery rhymes spilled in… there is a hurry in the way you use the shorter lines that make me think of going too fast with that boat… maybe the sirens are standing on the shore.
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I imagine the boat’s journey or quest to the Center of the World. Though the ending is lost on me, I read this aloud and enjoyed the rhythm of your verses.
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“sans boots, beret, with verses clasp”
“Into the glass the wine is swirled”
“Now shiver the timber and the birds”
“Too soon, too soon, there looms the door”
Jilly – a bit nautical – oh yes – but just wonderful sounding lines…
And looking lines as in all the double o’s in the last line I’ve copied…six sets of them in that one line. I really enjoyed this. You took me on a journey with the sounds and rhythms in this poem.
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Thanks, Lil! Reading Pound is leading to strange results.
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http://qbit.blog/2019/02/05/ezrasure
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I’ve recently been looking at those cantos too…”all the lines are unconstrained” (K)
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There is something outrageous and freeing in the modernist style. So, give it a whirl!
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This makes me want to dance a little jig of joy…..even if I don’t completely know why. A beautiful, joyful cadence and you’ve obviously mastered the form. I may have to try the 8 count.
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Your words are encouraging. Thank you! I like the shorter lines for the sense of momentum. Hope you give it a whirl!
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You rocked the form; nine stanzas, wow. The sensual ride is sublime, and the nautical terms work well. I agree that it makes little sense, but is very rife with all the senses; as you indicated. Reading it aloud heightens the feel of it.
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Thanks! I have no expectation of it making sense other than the feel of a journey. Bouncing off Pound’s Cantos has strange results 🙂
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As I reread this one again, I find the feeling of the journey of life… an immigrant’s journey …passed on with hardship and toil…to pass it on to our children and more!
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Thanks for reading again, Dwight! I’m glad the sense of the journey comes through.
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I like the concept of this poem. I like how it doesn’t have to “make sense” to be enjoyed. I also like the concept of the journey. It inspires me to try this!
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How very kind of you to say. This was inspired by The Cantos of Pound; which don’t make much sense but are ‘felt.’ Let me know if you do!
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I certainly will. I wrote a rubaiyat for this prompt which you might want to check out as well.
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I read through on my phone but will be back for a closer read tonight in the leisure of my laptop.
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“Lighthearted dawn will rise unchained
where all the lines are unconstrained
all boneyard thoughts are loudly heard
with tears and mirth are all sustained”
Love this stanza, Jilly.
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Thank you!
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