“I feel my failure intensely
as if it were a vital organ”
~Harrison
from Vows
Passed a tree
bare-bone branches
beige against
the too, too green
field and well-watered
backdrop of triumphant trees
in early June leaf.
The sun, first in days,
in weeks
(for he, too, has failed)
pointed out the obvious
raw skin of bark.
I turned my head
and watched
long after it had gone by
the after-image burned
on my retina.
Woke in the night
longing for that tree
as I long for the feel
of my own bare skin
when you are gone.
© Jilly’s All Rights Reserved
for Day 3 of the 28 Days of Unreason
Jilly's 
“…longing for that tree
as I long for the feel
of my own bare skin
when you are gone.”
Fairly universal – very visceral. You have captured a sense of what it’s like to have something speak to you in the visual and not be able to put into words the message. It speaks to a deeper you. That’s what this poem did for me!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, Charley. I really did pass just such a tree recently and the image seemed to fit with the idea of failure, which seemed to allow for a metaphor for human failure.
LikeLike
I see that now. The triumphant trees verses “the failure,” the failed sun… but the narrator still takes on the blame when neither the tree or the sun are at fault. Just needed to talk it through a bit… I’m a tad slow sometimes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
you have a knack of burning images into words Jilly – interesting way you make the tree move and the watcher stand still. Nicely rounded off at the end with a paradox
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Laura. Not sure what made me think of that, but giving the tree the motion gave it center stage for me. Glad you noticed that 🙂
LikeLike
The image of this tree is burned into your mind completely. I like that even the sun fails oo
LikeLiked by 1 person
*too*
LikeLike
“I long for the feel
of my own bare skin
when you are gone.”
Very cool. Had to think it over a couple of times, says something very subtle but interesting and true. Nice job!
LikeLiked by 1 person
This poem kicked off a heated debate here about the meaning that I placed in it. See folder for comments and my stubborn streak at work.
LikeLike
I love the after image of the tree burned onto your retina
(and into your brain).
I feel a sense of longing and restlessness here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So many contrasts here, rain-green grass, bone dry tree, rough bark, soft skin, drought and longing.
LikeLiked by 1 person