she sat on the sidewalk
near your front door
gathering up the fallen
white petals of Impatiens
that grow there
sheltering them in her
hand, you lit them on fire
ignoring your tears
she slept beside you
with her shoes on
she didn’t burn
© Jilly’s All Rights Reserved
Day 23
Lillian is hosting at dVerse where we are gathering our thoughts and words, 44 of them, to be exact; writing quadrilles. Join us!
She & He #21
Jilly's 
I got a full-body chill from this, Jilly!
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Yay! It’s a part of a wild ride. April turned out to be a narrative about two characters. Soap Opera Central. And YOU have been missed big time, baby!!! Hope all is well. 🙂
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All is great! Except not reading and writing is causing me some malfunction. I just must. Can’t wait to tune into the rest of your wild ride!
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I haven’t seen the dVerse prompt yet (oh just popped up in my email), but this is wonderful.
I have to ponder it though. . .
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I gather you’ll be writing a quadrille? 🙂
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Maybe tomorrow. I have to finish some work today.
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There is so much sadness in this narrative… so much more I want to know.
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Ah, they are human, these April characters who have taken over my blog.
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I found it most intersting that you used impatiens for this….
and when I first read the title, I read it as the “collect” in the mass…the prayer. Double meaning maybe?
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Double…maybe even triple meaning 🙂
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Oh… this is amazing Jill! Impatiens is also known as Busy Lizzy but another name is Touch-me-not, which I think is quite apt for your poem.
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Busy Lizzy! Love that name! Touch-me-not makes me think of what happens if you touch the seed pods because they spring open so startlingly.
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There is a magical realism to this gorgeous portrait of a relationship. It’s so mysterious that that which she gathers is set aflame, while she remains unscathed, even unaffected. And, she keeps her shoes on.
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These two characters of mine have been mysterious all month with their complexity.
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Ok, there’s more to the story:) Still, I like it as a portrait.
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Thanks! My goal is for each poem to stand on its own, but, yes, there is a month-long narrative taking place. It wasn’t my plan…just sorta happened.
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Nice last line.
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this intrigues me. I sense the sadness but she seems determined to remain loyal and I love that she keeps her shoes on to protect her.
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Great insight!
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In Italian iimpatiens is called glass flowers. I don’t know what’s going on exactly in your poem, but the glass flowers adds another layer of mystery for me.
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I love these intensely intimate glimpses. She seems ready to run, to me.
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Yep! Shoes = traveling. Great insight.
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A story hidden within these lines … collect/gather?
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Yep. Actually, a story in this whole month of April. This is the 20th installment. The things two people collect and gather in their quest.
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A very complex write. It’s lovely.
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Much appreciated!
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Very powerful!
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It makes me wonder at the backstory as you left me hanging in suspense ~ What next ~
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This is amazing.
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Thank you!
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How much pathos can you pack into so few lines? Simply brilliant!
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Thank you, Frank. Appreciate you reading 🙂
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kaykuala
We can certainly consider ourselves more fortunate as compared to some others
Hank
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Indeed!
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I love lighting the flowers on fire and the sleeping with her shoes on!
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The petals of Impatiens as a burnt offering. Thanks!
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I like how this image stands alone and both in and out of the narrative.
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You were so kind to comment at my site. I had come by here earlier and did not know what to say! I think when I have more time I have some reading to do for more of the tale. I was struck though by the last stanza where though he lit the fire he is the one that has tears which she ignores and sleeps beside him despite the fire lighting, albeit with shoes on. I agree with you that though there is an implied larger story, the poem does stand on its own. I am glad you have let this whole thing have its way.
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Thank you! I enjoy the insightful reading.
As a fellow writer you know the feeling of being told to take dictation by the characters or the subject of a poem or fiction. It’s why we huddle closely together; we understand each other’s quirks 🙂
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When is a flower not a flower. I seem to remember an earlier flower… that also wasn’t a flower.
Shoes… walking shoes? So much to consider. It’s never easy with a Jilly poem! 🙂
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That is the bestest compliment – poetry that isn’t easy! The earlier flower you allude to might be from Day 1 of this craziness – Quake
https://jillys2016.wordpress.com/2018/04/03/quake/
He reaches for a tissue-paper flower – aka – her hand. You have an excellent memory!
And yes, in symbolism of lit, shoes = travel.
Thanks for sticking around for the whole movie, Charley!
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Got popcorn, Junior Mints, and a big Coke!
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Looks like “She loves me….She loves me not….from the tears I guess she loves me not?
Dwight
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I find this intriguing…an effective use of 44 words!
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Quite vivid in imagery. It has my imagination wondering..@who, why…what happened next?’
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Thanks for reading, Vivian. This is a part of an ongoing Narrative Series that I’ve written in April. Should be wrapping up soon!
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My pleasure. Will check out the others.
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I feel a certain cadence in the way the words flowed, and sleeping with her shoes on was like being prepared for any eventuality, this was simply heartbreaking and stunning at the same time.
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Thanks Gina! Great analysis. 🙂
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I love the symbolism of sleeping with her shoes on…
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Interesting things going on here – sleeping with her shoes on is a fantastic image, and the fire in her hand, and the not burning. And all in 44 words – terrific.
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Compelling and evocative, making me want to know what makes it feel so sad, even hopeless.
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Great take on the prompt. These two lines in particular were powerful to me:
she slept beside you
with her shoes on
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Her not being burnt – became untouchable? – if another name of Impatiens is ‘Touch me Not’? There are ‘virtual’ fires – usually of the cleansing sort. I did some more back-reading, He loving her scar more than her … no wonder she kept her shoes on while sleeping next to him, time to move on.
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Yeah, you completely nailed the meaning. So glad you’ve read about these two. A study in being human and falable.
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Burned Once
Burned Twice
Burned Love
Always Fights
When
ReaL
GaTHeRinG
FiRELiGHTNoW..:)
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