January
when the trees buzzle their roots
into the soil
below the frost line
she is waiting for the bus
struggling to zip her coat
juggling hot chocolate
you stop,
make a zipping motion
a question
an offer on your face
she smiles
acquiesces
© Jilly’s All Rights Reserved
It’s Quadrille time at dVerse! De has charged us to include the word “Zip” in our poem of 44 words. April has surprised me with a series of poems that are in the same voice (2nd person), telling a story of two people. The saga began on Day 3 and continues. I’ll ride this roller coaster until all of it has been shaken from my pockets and deposited on the ground.
Day 9
Pssst! Join me tomorrow night – I’m hosting Poetics and we are going to paint this town!
She & He #7
“trees buzzle their roots”!!!!
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🙂 It seemed to fit with the ‘zip’ thing.
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It needs to become an official word. How did we not have “buzzle” before today?
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Needs an OED definition, though.
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Can I borrow it for something I’m writing today, with attribution to you and a link to this post?
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Have at it!
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Bah! I completely fumbled it. Was such a great idea this AM, but not enough time to really work my way through it. Thanks for buzzle though! My favorite part of your poem.
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Love the idea and you have good stuff in the poem. Rework it to please the writer. Glad buzzle kicked off so much all over the place.
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Thanks, I might come back and do that. I thought it was going to be easy, just pull out a bunch of well-known super hero/villain names vs. my poetic overimagination, and a good time would be had by all. Was way harder than that.
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I love that word ‘buzzle’, Jill! My nephew had a hamster called Buzzle. I also like the Z-shape of your poem and the variations on the prompt word.
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Aw – what a cool name for a hamster! Glad the format actually worked – one never knows 🙂
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🙂
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Oh, THIS!
“when the trees buzzle their roots”
Fantastic! And I love that you poems are dictating their own voice, at this point. I love when they take charge! Happy Poeming April, Jilly!
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🙂 Thanks!
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Not sure if this is an ominous encounter or not. At least she got her coat zipped.
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For seven days I have been writing about these two and this is the first time that she does not have the upper hand, so I think it is not ominous, but they could proved me wrong 🙂
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I hope the ‘zipping motion’ is an invitation and not a threat 🙂
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These two characters are shaping up to be something, but I’m not sure what, just yet. I’ll let them tell me.
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I’m betting on romance.
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Good bet! This is the 7th day of them taking over my laptop, and this poem is actually backstory. But they are a bit hapless 🙂
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Write a novel 🙂
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Yikes! I have trouble with fiction; I get these great starts with wonderful characters, but freeze up when the going gets going. I’m just going to roll with this until it doesn’t.
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A novel is a long haul. You have to know what you’re letting yourself in for before you start 🙂
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This is very good.
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Thank you, thank you!
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I love the word ‘buzzle’! Wonderful poem!
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Thanks, Jo!
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I love this tiny moment that says so much about this relationship. Neatly done.
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Thanks! Exactly what I was hoping for.
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First visit to the ‘story’ of these two which I have to say is overshadowed by the use of the word buzzle…..buzzle……buzzle….(this is me saying it out loud with a big grin)…new favourite word….buzzle…..buzzzzzzzzzzzlllllllllllleeeee 😉
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It resonates so well! Say it again…
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When “trees buzzle their roots”
It’s a form and sign of the imagination growing to evolve from such beautiful poetic verses. 🙂
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Each episode gets better and better, Jilly! A gentleman will always offer to do a lady’s zipper … or at least hold her hot chocolate and not drink it. …much.
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Haha! Much! The closeness of zipping someone’s coat on a cold day is terribly intimate and that is what I was going for. It also holds a vulnerability – for both. Glad you are enjoying this story as it unravels…unzips.
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Peeling back the layers. Like getting out of winter clothes in Minnesota.
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What a kind person to offer a helping hand!
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I too admire that buzzle word…I hope the ending turns out pleasant for both of them ~
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Buzzle? Some words should just be and this is one!
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🙂
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How sweet! You know this has to have a chapter 2…?
Dwight
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Dwight – This is, I think, Chapter 2. It is a series that began on Day 3 and keeps going. I didn’t set out to do this, but these two characters took over my laptop! I’m currently locked in the basement, chained to the keyboard. Send lawyers, wine & chocolate!
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LOL! Your really are possessed!! I love it.
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I want to know more…does the hot chocolate spill? Oh, buzzle!
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AH! Perfect comment! Thank you, Lynn. This is actually part of a series in April. There has been more and will be more. Love how you used buzzle – it’s an interjection! Whoop!
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I will have to check out your series 🙂
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Just scroll back to day 3, I think.
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Very nice quadrille.
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You can’t zip up a jacket with one hand. I’d be grateful for help in a Winter when even the tree roots have buzzled themselves deeper into the soil.
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A buzzle while she juggles and then guzzles her hot chocolate! Love the word — and that image of fumbling with hot chocolate sets the scene and weather so well!
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Love it!
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I’m with all the above–you win with “buzzle.” What a great word, and a great line.
That is so funny about your characters holding you hostage. I guess you just have to keep on writing! 🙂
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Thanks! Hey, as long as they serve coffee, I’m here for the count 🙂
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🙂
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A delight, Jilly!
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I like your line breaks, Jilly…giving a concise intro to each unique part of the scene….”January”, “she is waiting for the bus”, and “you stop”. A vivid story that begs to keep going……
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Thanks, Mish! And so it does keep going. Turns out that this is what April is; writing these two characters. Glad you stopped by 🙂
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