“I have seen eyes in the street”
Felt their dark, dark pupils greet
the piano keys of white
and black, striking strings that bite
through my palms, poison complete.
Fleeing the scene, blistered feet,
In circles returning; flight
is not to be; kiss the kite
flown as a surrender flag
Take our tongues- a body bag;
Stand and greet the rising sun;
Stand and greet the day undone.
Quoted text from T.S. Eliot’s Rhapsody on a Windy Night
© Jilly’s All Rights Reserved
Frank challenges us to write in the Tanaga form at dVerse. Join us!
I especially liked the last two lines. I also like the description of the kite as a surrender flag.
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That is a real enigma. I read it twice and just can’t fathom it. It sounds like film noir. The villain attacking in the dead of night. I’d sure like to see those grey areas
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Ah, my friend, I’d like to see the grey areas, myself. It seems that we are returning to the cut and dried of black or white – pick a side.
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Ah, OK. So much polarization. It was a friendlier day years ago
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Too many see things in soundbites–black or white.
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How true – and here I am, living in the grey… or is that just fog? hahaha!
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We’re poets–we can live and see through the grey fog!
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A lament to loss of civility; the ability to see the sanity of the other side as well as the ability to see the flaws in one’s own chosen stance. Everyone has been pushed to one side or the other by biting anger. (You’ve said it better and with fewer words.)
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Admiring your opening lines of black constrasting with the white, and finally your last 2 ending lines ~ Can I stand in the middle and fly my surrender flag?
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You will be standing with me; that is where I seem to find myself these days. Thanks for reading, Grace.
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Amazing how the eyes tell it all… the good, the bad, and the ugly!! Great work.
Dwight
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Thanks, Dwight.
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this has the same terse rhythm of Dylan’s ‘it’s allright Ma’ which fits so well with the message here – your imagery is tantalisingly just out of reach – like the grey areas
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High praise! Thanks
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Oooh! “kiss the kite / flown as a surrender flag”!
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I really appreciate anyone looking at the grey area,… the picking sides doesn’t solve anything
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I agree. I have been deeply distressed by the hateful things that are said about “the other side.” Thanks for reading!
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To me this reads as an experimental poem, despite adhering to the form. Which, in itself, is an appropriate way to honor the grey, that which pushes us to try just a little harder. I also really liked “strings that bite.”
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I’m glad you saw that, Amaya. Been teaching sonnet form all week in my classroom, along with much discussion about the philosophy of forms & the breaking or bending of rules. This represents the rebel within 🙂
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Following on from what Amaya said…I can see that you hammered it into your own shape- while keeping the form. Good one!
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🙂
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There should always be a little grey…..it frees the mind, let’s us evolve, and offers respect.
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“Kiss the kite, flown as a surrender flag.” This line especially resonates with me. Your title says it all….today’s news of we vs them……..polarizing language. Perhaps that’s why so many, millions in fact, find hope in the youth movement begun by the Parkland teenagers. True, they are on one side of an issue, but they’ve drawn many to action and have been inclusive at the same time. They say to everyone, come join us. And, I do think, perhaps they are pointing folks to the grey….the idea that there is space between point A and point B….perhaps A3 and A4 etc….after all, in grading there is an A- and a B+. As in – yes, we can still have the second amendment and make some common sense changes. Ah…you’ve got me going this morning. Perhpas some day there will be an Ode to the Grey Areas 🙂
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PS: So glad you’ve joined the dVerse team! 🙂
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Thank you! Me, too!
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As a high school teacher, my students have been looking at that issue with a critical eye. Their findings have been surprising.
There is a quote on my board:
“I am creating a place where you can have a different political ideology and not be judged.”
The Youth March group has been exclusionary, hurting my conservative kiddos. I stand in the grey for both groups. It’s a lonely spot. Thanks for your insightful comments!
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Brilliant write, Jilly. A testament to life in the wilderness between sides!
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Thank you, Frank.
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My pleasure, Jilly! 🙂
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I don’t normally tout what I post, but I think you will especially enjoy my most recent post – a sonnet only an educator could love.
https://jillys2016.wordpress.com/2018/04/02/italian-sonnet-on-cool-hair/
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I grieve with you, Jilly. I often wonder … Has it been selfish and stupid of me to have children at a time like this, when the future looks only gloomier and gloomier, brewing only conflicts and little hope?
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The children are our hope. We teach and love them well. Hug those beautiful children of yours, Colin!
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