raising the fists of his angry politik
his angry hands
that Christmas Day
in one instant a swirling murmuration
of unsaid I’m sorrys
in clusters of silent sevens
entered the windows, the doors,
funnelled about the room
orphaning her for once and for all.
© Jilly’s All Rights Reserved
A Quadrille using the word ‘murmur’ for dVerse Poet’s Pub.
The staccato feel toward the end of this mirrors those fists. So well done.
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Fascinating — a swirl of words and fists and murmur that leave someone orphaned on Christmas! Love the “silent sevens”.
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The mathmatics and physics of a murmuration of starlings breaks down into sevens. The amazing part is that they do it all with silence.
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Very cool!
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What a story… what a Christmas, and what an end… you made me really feel that pent up anger…
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As did the ‘orphaned’ narrator of this poem. Thanks, Bjorn.
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Sorry Jilly.
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Oh, that’s tremendous. So visual. Those things unspoken can be so powerful.
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Thanks,Sarah!
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Wow, Jill! A great phrase: ‘swirling murmuration / of unsaid I’m sorrys’, and I love the ending..
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Thanks, Kim. That is the line that has been in my head for a long time and needed this prompt to put it on paper.
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Nowadays I can’t keep lines in my head – not even when they creep up on me in the shower and I’m getting out in a couple of minutes. I end up repeating them out loud until I can get to one of the various notebooks or the Word document on my laptop where I keep them safe – my head’s like a sieve!
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The noise of silence so well captured here … love the evocative ‘funnelled about the room’
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Such pathos captured in these words … and all those silent sorries.
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All that anger “funnelled about the room” really strong
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The silent sevens sound magical. Much more so than the Christmas fists.
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The silent sevens are how starlings communicate in a murmuration, so it is rather magical – and mathmatical.
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Clever birds.
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Wow! Did anyone else notice all the sibilants here? So many “s” sounds in so many lines…only in the last two lines are they absent. It’s almost a hissing….like pent up anger, the hot water hissing in the kettle ready to blow.
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I felt this tornado of anger in such a small space. If human emotions had wings we’d be knocked over each time.
What a Christmas.
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Indeed.
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What a powerful poem! The images of murmuration are uncanny. The videos almost to the point of nightmarish. Your poem captures that… to the point where my breath catches as I read it.
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They are remarkable images and when you learn about how a murmuration works, it amazes. The nighmarish quality that you mention certainly works for this poem. Thanks, Charley.
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You are welcome!
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Sigh.. the noise of silence is so palpable here… I really felt this poem!
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Thank you – glad that came through.
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You had me at murmuration! And then you blew me away with the rest. So happy to see you back, Jilly! 🙂
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Thank you, my friend.
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My pleasure, friend! 😇
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It does sound like a murmuration of birds, swirling and leaving, looking for the unsaid reconciliation, then swirling and leaving. It has such a sad vibe to it.
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It sounds like something ominous has occurred. Best wishes resolving it, if so.
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A beautiful but sad poem of intimidation….orphaning her once again!!
dwight
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that is a powerful closing line!
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“Silent sevens” is enigmatic yet evokes a sense of completeness. In this case the destruction was completed with the power of that grouping, at last funneled together as one.
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ah… something big and sad just happened. Nice portentous images here, Jill.
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Love that overwhelming feeling of the birds swarming in through the windows, the visual you give to the overwhelming oppressiveness of so many apologies owed and never given. I feel this one deeply. Awesome!
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totally original Jilly – the way your words move around this room with that heart stopping finale
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Beautifully put together. It lifts my heart and leaves me feeling a deep sorrow simultaneously.
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The explanation of the sevenses of the starlings is fascinating yet told in the context is near heart-stopping. Sorry again.
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An amazing, powerful poem, Jilly!
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Thank you
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The visuals in your words breath such imagination to the reader and we’ve become immersed in your world of awesomeness. Love this poem. 🙂
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Every line is dense with emotions. The drama of one heavy moment all wrapped in a telling, climaxed at the “orphaning” break of relationship.
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