I am guest-hosting Meeting the Bar at dVerse Poet’s Pub. I challenge my fellow poets to write response poetry. (See Marlowe and Ralegh’s poems for examples.) I have written a response in the voice of the snake to Denise Levertov’s poem, To the Snake. Her poem follows below.
The Snake’s Keening
Bright Girl, when you plucked me from
the grass and round your neck I hung
felt your seering warmth
and whispered in your ear the secrets
of a serpent’s curse
the weight of sin and shame I bare
wounded in your ears —
Bright Girl — I swore to my scaled children that certainly
you were sinless! But truly
I had no hope of ever passing your heel, only desire
and be held by you, for that thrill,
which bereft
of guilt, as the grass closed
behind me, and you with that dark
assurance in your eyes,
I shall never share.
© Jilly’s All Rights Reserved
To the Snake
by Denise Levertov
Green Snake, when I hung you round my neck
and stroked your cold, pulsing throat
as you hissed to me, glinting
arrowy gold scales, and I felt
the weight of you on my shoulders,
and the whispering silver of your dryness
sounded close at my ears —
Green Snake–I swore to my companions that certainly
you were harmless! But truly
I had no certainty, and no hope, only desiring
to hold you, for that joy,
which left
a long wake of pleasure, as the leaves moved
and you faded into the pattern
of grass and shadows, and I returned
smiling and haunted, to a dark morning.
To the Snake, by Denise Levertov
Poetry Foundation, October 1958
Wow–Jilly. This is wonderful. I like the way you wove in the biblical serpent, even though I am not a believer, and I like the way your lines wraparound and to the next.
This is a cool idea for a dVerse challenge! I didn’t see that post yet–I’m behind on everything. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Merrill! That post is tonight, so you are not behind, but ahead. Nice, huh? Hope you’ll be able to join in!
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
Nice view from the snake’s perspective. I am trying to put together a response poem to Dickinson’s poem about hope as the thing with features for your prompt later today.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Awesome! I look forward to it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good thing I selected another Dickinson poem 🙂 no such feathers in mine
LikeLiked by 1 person
I really love how the snake gave his view, and to me it added a lot when I read the original poem… The reference to the bible works so well (and I wonder if it wasn’t there in the original poem too)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed – much of the story of why we fear snakes is wrapped up in that one. Thanks!
LikeLike
This is a wonderful example Jilly and you chose a powerful poem by Denise ~ The metaphor and biblical implications reverberate ~ Thank you for hosting our challenge in dVerse ~
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m exploring Levertov more deeply lately and learning to love her work all the more. Thanks, Grace.
LikeLike
Jill, it’s amazing that you chose this poem! Several years ago, I entered one of my students for a poetry reciting competition and she got through with this poem! I love your response. I especially enjoyed the address ‘Bright Girl’ and the lines:
‘…whispered in your ear the secrets
of a serpent’s curse
the weight of sin and shame I bare
wounded in your ears’
and
‘…as the grass closed
behind me, and you with that dark
assurance in your eyes’,
It’s so snaky!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderful story about your student and this poem! It has a great rhythm for recitation. Poetry does snake in and out of our lives in charming ways 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, I like this very much. I think you caught the tone perfectly, and I love the allusions to Genesis – subtly done, but definitely there. It’s nice to be introduced to the original poem as well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! Levertov is marvelous. (I also wrote a funny one which I may post up later.)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Look forward to it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is really clever; working in the Biblical story. It’s kind of hinted at a little in the original, but you brought it into the forefront. That sounds lots better
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Walter. Getting into the mind of the snake who is feared proved interesting.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hope, suspicion, desire, sin- get a room, girl and snake! No, but seriously, this was excellent. I loved how she feels burning hot to his cold-blooded self and “the dark assurance in your eyes.” You really got under his ssskin.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanksssss! I tried to get into his head, but that tiny little brain….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beguiling how both poems slither in the grass, around the waist and up to the ear…and the desire that is so present in each.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! Hmmm… desire wrapped up in a snake’s tale… ( I do love a good dose of symbolism!)
LikeLike
Jilly, I really like the sensual quality of the snake and his guiltless touch with no remorse slithering off into the grass! Loved it.
Dwight
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Dwight. There is so much coiled up in the stories of our relationship with the creature; it’s just too easy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very good stuff!
LikeLike
You chose a slithery poem and crafted a sly response to the original sin…great prompt, Jill!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Lynn! Levertov paved the way for me on that one and I couldn’t resist biting 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Levertov late 1950’s response to the Genesis tale winds into the feminist world — affinities shared between myth and woman — What is different here is a more naked embrace of nature, not for a human myth but for animal-human encounter. The snake welcomes that touch although it will never comprehend it as the human does. As the reptile tries to understand warm blood and calls it “seering.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
My high school students are analyzing through the feminist lit approach right now, so I think that influenced my choice.
LikeLike
Whoa, Jilly! I love Denise Levertov! And your response is so spot on! Love it! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Levertov has been on the edges for me for years, but I am spending more time there and discovering amazing work. Do you go through that, Frank? You dive into a poet and say, “Why haven’t I been here before?”
The other one for me right now is Li-Young Lee.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think of the annulling finding place by will revealed, and the power of knowing. Nice touch! This is a poem to ponder upon.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much for your kind comment, Vaccinius!
(I noticed that your link in dVerse did not work correctly. The Challenge is open for about 4 more hours, so if you would like to try it again, I will have a team member pull out the current one.)
LikeLike
Thank you. I checked, and a + sign was missing in the address, obviously taken out by a devil right before I posted the link. So the devil in this case is placed in Norway, having control with my computer.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Vaccinius, The new link still doesn’t work. We need to do something about that devil…!
Maybe that devil is hovering somewhere over the Atlantic.
LikeLike
I believe that devil is gathered by a focus. Well. Obviously, the devil wants me to believe I cannot have a + sign in the link address. That is, though, nonsense. The link on MisterLinky worked when I checked it. Anyhow, I have used an url shortening web site to make a new link, without the + sign. That is my fourth attempt. And the link worked when I checked it now. (Sorry!)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m so glad it worked! I’m reading from my phone right now, which has its own demons, but I see what an. incredible poem you have written! Amazing!!! Worth the battle to get it posted.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. 💙
LikeLiked by 1 person
Two wonderful poems together 🙂 I had not known of the original poem also..
thank you for the great prompt
LikeLiked by 1 person
i will surely explore Levertov now, thank you for introducing her. your response is a very sincere look from how the serpent felt being used as a minion of evil. I feel it was very remorseful and just wanted to be held and not judged. I admire your choice of poem Jilly, very provocative response.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Gina! You will find much depth in Levertov.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Gotta watch those snakes they’re complicated creatures. Lol! Wonderful prompt and poem, Jilly!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So Long So Long
ago so afraid
oF A
Snake
LiVinG WiTHiN
So now
so now
Friends with now the
Snake never ends the Love
AS Reptile Brain First for Will and
Strength for Live.. Limbic BRain aS
LioN HeArteD CouRaGE oF LoVE
As Grace iN MaMaLiAN Ways..
BaLanCinG ForcE Then
finAlly..
ReaSon
enough
heHe..
For Poetry..:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bravo!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Jilly..
Thanks
So much
For
All
The inspiration
You BRinG WitH
This
Prompt
And
Your
Poem..:)
LikeLiked by 1 person