Completing Sarah Connor’s Challenge poem for January’s edition of Casting Bricks. (It went a little dark; perhaps I have been reading too much Ahkmatova of late?) Sarah is such a gifted poet and this was a delight to complete! Everyone is welcome to join in and Cast Bricks to Attract Jade, a collaborative poetry challenge. C’mon and give it a whirl!
Sarah’s words are in bold and mine follow. (Also went out on a limb & created a Sound Cloud, in spite of being sick for a week. I felt Sarah’s words come alive with the audio.)
Dancing
It seemed like we were always dancing,
though the music was sometimes too fast,
and sometimes a little too slow,
and sometimes we hardly heard it at all
Frantic though the band played long
through black ruptured days of pitch,
and sometimes we heard our arteries thrum,
and sometimes we hardly heard their call
Until caesura broke the chest voice
and I let you leave without your hat and gloves.
Jilly's 
Oh, Jilly, this is great. That last line, so powerful. I love seeing what you do with stuff! And great to hear your voice,too.
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So glad! Your opening lines are fabulous. Thank you for the challenge 🙂
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It is wonderful to see how poets interact on collaborative pieces. What might at first seem a tangent from the original heading, becomes a glowing fulfillment of something you didn’t see in the beginning half-poem. What changed things, made things unhearable? It’s left wide open in the first half. Sarah provided the outlines, and you fill in the color and add minor touches that finish the thought. The seeds of meaning were planted. Another poet might see something completely different bear fruit.
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I agree, Charley; the outcomes are so varied on collaborative poems.
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And the two of you danced poetically… well.
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I listened a few times and then I caught the duet’s tune that you and Sarah played – always love her way with words and your constant surprises – never predictable!
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🙂
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Whoa! I love how you respond to Sarah’s initial lines and increase the intensity! Great antitheticals in these lines: “and sometimes we heard our arteries thrum, / and sometimes we hardly heard their call,” and what a tight rhythm! Well done!
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You make my day, Frank!
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🙂
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Wow–well done. I loved Sarah’s opening, and the way you ran with it.
It was interesting to hear your reading, too, which was much different from my in my head reading. 🙂
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Thanks, Merrill! Sarah tossed an amazing challenge out there.
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Yes, she did!
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