Posted in Casting Bricks Collaborative Poetry

Dancing

Completing Sarah Connor’s Challenge poem for January’s edition of Casting Bricks.  (It went a little dark;  perhaps I have been reading too much Ahkmatova of late?)  Sarah is such a gifted poet and this was a delight to complete!  Everyone is welcome to join in and Cast Bricks to Attract Jade, a collaborative poetry challenge.  C’mon and give it a whirl!

Sarah’s words are in bold and mine follow.  (Also went out on a limb & created a Sound Cloud, in spite of being sick for a week. I felt Sarah’s words come alive with the audio.)

Dancing

It seemed like we were always dancing,
though the music was sometimes too fast,
and sometimes a little too slow,
and sometimes we hardly heard it at all

Frantic though the band played long
through black ruptured days of pitch,
and sometimes we heard our arteries thrum,
and sometimes we hardly heard their call

Until caesura broke the chest voice
and I let you leave without your hat and gloves.

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Author:

A wild soul writing poetry & fiction while teaching high school literature, all with a camera in tow.

13 thoughts on “Dancing

  1. It is wonderful to see how poets interact on collaborative pieces. What might at first seem a tangent from the original heading, becomes a glowing fulfillment of something you didn’t see in the beginning half-poem. What changed things, made things unhearable? It’s left wide open in the first half. Sarah provided the outlines, and you fill in the color and add minor touches that finish the thought. The seeds of meaning were planted. Another poet might see something completely different bear fruit.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Whoa! I love how you respond to Sarah’s initial lines and increase the intensity! Great antitheticals in these lines: “and sometimes we heard our arteries thrum, / and sometimes we hardly heard their call,” and what a tight rhythm! Well done!

    Liked by 1 person

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