Taking up the Challenge from Colin Lee, here is my completion of his Vernal Flutter. I invite you all to join in with the Casting Bricks September Challenge where we collaborate and enjoy each other’s work. There are nearly 2 weeks remaining in the September Challenge. (I will roll out the October Challenge on Friday, October 6th.) All are welcome!
I have kept Colin’s rhyme scheme and, hopefully, his voice in this. His words are in bold.
Awake my soul into a dream
A dream of robins’ poetry
Whereon tickly fluff of dandelions rhymes
And in silken crepuscular rays the verses stream
I hear a heartbeat
Dripping warm dewdrops of mead
Into the wind
Into her melodies of angelic sweet
Awake my soul to a poet’s scheme
A scheme of heron’s rhymes
Whereon snail’s spherical shells imagery curves
And in nocturnal dreams are lunar beams
I hear a wingbeat
Echoing soft reverberations of sweet wine
Into my core
Into her descants spring is complete.
© Lyman / Lee Collaboration
Brava! You caught it and flew with it! A mirror, and spot on rhyming! How could it have been any better?
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Thank you, Charley! I tried to follow Colin’s lead and mirroring is exactly what I did with it.
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Sooo good! A seamless collaboration and breathtakingly beautiful.
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Thanks, Lynn! The best part of these collaborations is that I try to keep another’s voice & style, which is stretching me.
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You’re welcome! It’s tough to do for sure!
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Last line nailed it! The whole collaboration smooth, with lots of interesting language and imagery.
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Thanks!
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My apologies for taking so long to get here! Wow! Amazing write, my friend. I feel sheepish that you (you, the Great Jilly!) committed yourself to the unintended “form” (while I didn’t have any restrain in mind as I wrote my half). Having said that, your nocturnal reflection to the earlier daydream indeed has completed the mystery into a holistic experience, where the sweetness sinks in and the echos slowly lull the poet into his “dream”. I enjoy reading it enormously. Thank you!
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I’m so glad you approve, Colin! I love working from the form, even if it was not intended. It was actually freeing.
One more thing – could I take that ‘Great Jilly’ comment and send it to my 10th grade PE teacher? Sign me ‘Humbled Jilly’
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The privilege is humbly mine, my friend. As for the comment, do as you please. Though I’m curious … what’s with your 10th grade PE teacher?
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She thought I was a slacker; the reality was that I didn’t buy into her personal political views, so…
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That’s ridiculous. You’re one of the most industrious persons I know of — a wife, mother, teacher and … an incredibly (incredibly!) productive poet. Oh, well …
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Aw! Thank you! It was pure politics. Like many things are.
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Outstanding collaboration and breath-taking visuals. 🙂
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Thanx!
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You welcome, my friend. 🙂
It’s always good to read great minds of great collaboration. 🙂
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