Charley at Life in Portofino threw down a Casting Bricks Challenge that was too good to pass up. The last line of his half-poem: “To describe without descriptors” begged to be met with emotion rather than adjectives. I wrote this fast with little editing, so it may need work, but I lack the raw energy for that. Oh well, his words are in bold and mine follow.
Our days of release
are uninspiring,
dusty cotton gray.
I recline half conscious,
murmur my desire:
describe without descriptors
the roll of the pond,
the nod of the trees.
a riot had been planned
the pines pulled up
scrub oaks
club oaks
catalpas tied back
their vines
with bandanas
weaving blossoms into chains
a puff of crows flew off
leaving only brooding vultures
in the branches
but the outflow boundary
disappointingly didn’t
quite make it that far
and the long-hoped-for
downburst simply didn’t show
so that nothing more than
bitching and leaf rustling
whistled through them
as they stood around
the water-cooler lake
picking the occasional
bass or adjective from their teeth.
© Jilly / Charley Collaborative Poetry
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Love all this! The vultures and the downburst and the water-cooler and the picking adjectives from their teeth. You kicked this poem’s ass!
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“Thank you!” She said, hanging up her gloves and wiping sweat from her brow.
That’s the best compliment ever! Would love to have Ass-Kicking Poet on my business card. 😉
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Uh, wow! How little I suspected this kind of mayhem brewing without as I reclined upon the divan, ingesting peeled grapes. You rock, Jilly! This goes from my maudlin musing reflective rumination to utter chaos. I love the shift!
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I’m glad you liked the direction of it. Pure zaniness! …wait – peeled grapes? Git up off that couch and go trim them trees; they’s outta control, baby!
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Excellent collaboration! Loved the brooding vultures and picking adjectives from their teeth. You picked this up, ran with it, and spiked it in the end zone. Okay, I don’t even like football so I don’t know where that came from. Anyway, this is so good!!
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Nice! A riot had been planned. Or penned?
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Both of you make the greatest poetic collaboration I’ve ever read.
How two minds can bring about the third mind into the poetic table.
A riot of poetic voices has called into action. I love this poem by both You and Charley. 🙂
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P.S I am back! in case your wondering where I’ve been. Stop by…I posted my reasons for my absence and my return. 🙂
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Thank you!
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You are very welcome. I miss reading your work. 🙂
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I’ll pop over and read about you absence soon. I am not writing much at the moment. I teach high school and we are just getting back to work. I miss creativity time!
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A balance of both work and creativity time should make its way for the writer to be at harmony with both.
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As soon as the dust settles, my friend! Bring a vacuum!
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hahahaha!!! Well, I have to bring the vacuum to clear away the pollen. hahahaha!!!
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Unwinding stuff to read after work, especially when it’s a collaborated piece by two of my favourite people on WP. 🙂
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Thank you, my friend! You and your sweet family have in my thoughts.
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What privilege! Thank you, Jilly.
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I used to do a lot of collaborations when i started … love the fun in your aggressive trees
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Thanks! If you would like to join in with a collaborative poem you are most welcome!
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