Posted in Casting Bricks Collaborative Poetry

Loss & Regret

The Somonka is a Japanese poetic form that is designed to be collaborative, so it is perfect that Imelda chose that as her challenge for Casting Bricks.  A Somonka is a love poem in the form of two Tankas.  One lover writes the first 5 lines and the other responds with a second Tanka.  Imelda’s Tanka, Loss, is in bold and my response follows. Please forgive my incorrect usage of the language and my verbing of a noun.

Jilly’s August Challenge known as “Casting Bricks” is open to anyone who would care to join in; the more the merrier!  There is a permalink on my right-hand side bar or you can click here for details.

Moon, lost in orbit

looking for its sun, I am

a gaping silence

devouring your memory

an altar of your absence

 

Sun, novaed out from

your binding gravital pull

pulsing here alone

no dark to hide my wonder

if you ever think of me.

© Collaborative Poetry
Santore/Lyman

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Author:

A wild soul writing poetry.

9 thoughts on “Loss & Regret

  1. You did a great job completing her opening, Jill! Novaing and novaed are perfectly acceptable verbanouns. I find them in my poet’s dictionary; right where I penned them in. …um, not as in corral, but as in ink.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. First of all, thank you very much for this response. 🙂
    I like it for highlighting the complementary relationship between the sun and moon, on the one hand, and the subjects of the poem, on the other. Though at first blush, there seems to be a disparity in images, one being greater or smaller, brighter or darker than the other, in your piece, each one benefits from the other’s gifts, and in that sense, compleyes the other. Well done. 👍💛

    Liked by 1 person

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