For Jilly’s August Challenge (Casting Bricks) it is my privilege to collaborate with Alison Hankinson – A Spoonful of Sugar to complete her wonderful Challenge poem entitled Hospital Birth. I have added two stanzas that more are mirrors from a different perspective rather than a continuation of the narrative, and added a word to the title, as well. Alison’s words are in bold.
Darkest hours Pangs belabored
Patiently pacing birth forestalled
Dim-lit dawn legs and lungs
Life-embracing. exhausted sprawl.
Bald cry echoes Maternal scream
Through the walls sweat-drenched face
First born child’s flesh of my flesh
Entrance call. pangs erased.

© Collaborative Poetry
Hankinson / Lyman
Everyone is invited to join in with Jilly’s August Challenge of Casting Bricks! Just click the link on my sidebar for the details. ~ Jilly
Wow this is wonderful. They can stand alone or conjoin. I had twins, so it is apt. Thanks for your efforts, I like the scream very primeval. XXX
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Twins! Whew! I’m glad you like it. It was my moment of creativity over coffee this morning. I’m so happy you have joined in with the challenge – you are a welcome addition with your talents 🙂
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Jilly, you have done an amazing job of mirroring this poem! Obvious perfection given the response above.
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Thank you! I took myself back to the experience and wrote from that.
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An advantage I won’t be able to utilize.
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Be thankful.
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I am.
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This is great, and I love the second perspective on the same event!
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Thank you!
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This a beautiful one and very innovative. I have to say it’s very cute, the process of printing out the poem and working on it. I, too, very much like to write on paper rather on phone. There’s something about paper which fills the soul.
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I agree about working on paper. I never work from my phone except to glance at a poem. Too many mistakes for my fumbling fingers! Mostly I work from my laptop, which does not fill the soul either.
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Nice pairing of those two poems, line by line and poem by poem.
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Thank you! It was enjoyable to work on it. I also laid out notes for your 2nd challenge. Some time this week it will come together.
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