Writing Ottava Rima over at dVerse tonight and decided to try my hand at a mini epic. I breathe in iambic pentameter what with all the Shakespeare, so this was tons of fun 🙂
i
The beat of bossa nova fills our hearts
And saddling all the horses start we out
While moon and stars seductively run charts
Fan dancing in the deep, guiding our doubt
The runaway a good two hour start
Though he on foot and we on hooves to rout
The music still plays on inside our heads
Adventure lies before us, won’t crave beds
ii
Coyote on the hill in mournful song
Nocturnal version of the cooing dove
Within our midst we know that he belongs
Will die inside without undying love
Those things we said now echoing with wrongs
Our guilt beats on, reflects the clouds above
The music stills plays on inside our heads
A righteous quest denies our need of bread
iii
Long beat the hooves dull on the famished earth
Dust, grit and gravel clog our onus throats
While ringing in our ears the faded mirth
For he the tender sheep while we are goats
The music lingers on inside our heads
We will not be defeated though we dread
iv
Gardenia blossom fills our empty hands
We breathe it in and see the lad at rest
Upon the bank free from the desert lands
He is but sleeping, tenderly is blest
New music plays inside our heads
Will bring him home and all take to our beds
© Jilly’s May 25, 2017 All Rights Reserved
Oh my! I am breathless keeping up with you in this one! A romp. A veritable romp!
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A romp, a ride, a quest… any of the above! Thanks for breathing by 🙂
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Next time I bring Binaca!
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LOL!!!!
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This is amazing. I did not expect anyone to go over two stanzas. I liked the line about dying without undying love.
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Thanks for the encouragement, Frank! In the final analysis, I liked that line, too.
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I do admire this, and I agree about breathing pentameter. Once you get into meter it’s hard to get out isn’t it? Love the sense of epic.. and maybe a bit “mock-heroic”, bringing up some don quixote images…
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That was the feel that was in my head as I wrote it, so I guess it worked 🙂
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Oh, I enjoyed your ottava rima, Jilly! I’ve started the day with a bossa nova in my ears and cinematic images of horses, a coyote on the hill and a young boy found safe and sound.
I love the lines:
‘While moon and stars seductively run charts
Fan dancing in the deep, guiding our doubt’;
‘Long beat the hooves dull on the famished earth’;
and
‘Gardenia blossom fills our empty hands’.
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Glad I could add a little bossa nova to your Friday!
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Love the callback of the music in their heads, and my favorite line is “For he the tender sheep while we are goats.” I kept going back and reading that over.
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Just a wee bit of allusion in that line 🙂 Thanks for your kind comments!
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An impressive accomplishment! Two stanzas did me in. I’m still trying to get my head around onus throats, but love the line “…tender sheep while we the goats”!
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There is something about the meter that makes me want to keep galloping on down the writing trail. Thanks for your generous comments, Bev!
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To say I’m impressed is an understatement! Holy moly, this is good! But of course, there’s never any doubt I’ll be in for a real treat when I stop by. I can’t even get iambic pentameter down.
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Thanks! You just have to get in touch with the Mother Goose within. 🙂
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